I’ve been meaning to write about this since it happened on Tuesday.
In one of my previous posts I stated that sometimes we wind up accidentally playing people’s therapists. Sometimes we get trolled. I’m not sure which one is the case with this incident.
Be training some noobs.
Greet customer over phone.
"Uhm. Uh. This is so awkward."
"That’s okay, just be blunt. I’ll try to help you."
"So are you familiar with *mumble mumble something that sounds like EDC*?"
"EDC, the Electric Daisy Carnival?"
(Thinking to myself, oh man, this conversation could be headed anyyyywhere.)
"Uhm. No. Sorry. BBC. Big black cock. Oh god."
"Like are you looking for DVDS in that catagory?"
"Not exactly. Uhm. My girlfriend. We’ve been together for like 3 years and today out of the blue she tells me, it’s her fantasy to suck a bbc. I’m just trying to figure out what to do."
"Oh. Well, I can see how that would be unsettling. So where do I come in on this? Were you wanting to buy her a realistic toy?"
"Actually, no. Not really. I wanted to see if you guys carried the Fleshlight strokers, because she wants the real thing and I’m white. *rambles on about how shocked and dismayed he is, while sliding in comments about how races should stick together."
Dude keeps talking a while, and at first I was sympathetic till he pulled the white is right race card. Then I told him he should just focus on moving forward with his life, and not worrying about the color of people’s skin.
"Well what in the hell does that mean. You’re white right? How can you say that? White people should stick together!"
"Sir, I’m white, not a racist asshole. I also date a hispanic man, so I can’t really say I agree about ‘sticking to our own kind.’ I love the guy. It seems like you have a lot of problems that you should examine and not blame another person for."
"You’re a traitor to your race you stupid bitch."
"Thanks, btw, our fleshlights are $120.00, have a great day!"
Newbies just staring at me like what the fuck did we just sign up for.
I just shrug.
One day I will write a best selling novel about this job. I swear it.